I wish heaven had visiting hours,
so I could sit with you again,
hear your voice, soft and steady,
feel the comfort of your presence
like I used to.
I would sit across from you,
watch you smile,
watch your eyes light up
at nothing at all,
and remember how the world made sense
when it revolved around you.
I want to tell you everything
all the small victories,
all the quiet fears,
all the moments I’ve survived
because I learned from you,
even in your absence.
I want to hold your hand again,
to feel the warmth that never left me,
to trace the lines of your face
and memorize them once more,
like a map of love I still carry
even though I can’t follow it back to you.
I wish I could pause time with you,
breathe you in,
hear the laugh that echoes in my chest,
feel the calm that only your presence brought,
and sit in the space where nothing could hurt
because you were there.
I would talk to you about everything
and nothing,
tell you what it’s like to be me now,
and just listen as you spoke,
even if it was just your sighs,
your hums, your quiet way of being.
I wish heaven had visiting hours.
I would never leave.
I would sit there forever,
in the warmth of you,
until time forgot to move
and we were just together again.
