What evoked the writing of this post was me trimming my ends. As a black girl nothing screams put together like long hair, natural or not, despite how raggedy it looks.
I had ends that were scraggly and splits that went far up the shaft. I had breakage galore, and shedding amounts I thought only my dog can accomplish. Hoping that the length I had would have been seen and admired by all. But in reality the health of my hair was far from it. It wouldn’t hold a curl, it wouldn’t stay straight when straightened.
I thought that holding onto those dead ends would make me feel beautiful. I believed it would allow others to see potential in me. Not knowing that holding onto those dead ends was in fact hindering my growth and future potential. You know, the same can be said for real life.
Holding onto people, friends or family who ignore or don’t want to see your growth. Hoping that they see you the way you see yourself. Hoping that they accept and include you if you do just one thing they want you to do.
Holding onto jobs that you hope would acknowledge your hard work. Or holding onto jobs that fail to see the work that you do brings actual results.
Or even fears of inadequacy that was instilled from childhood, which now as an adult causes you to be incapable of seeing your value. That voice became a constant reminder. It tells you that you are not worth it. You can’t do the things you’ve always dreamed of. You can’t do the things you said you would have done.
In my case it all started with adults, pushing their narrative on my life. Speaking words of doubt over me which made me believe that maybe I’m not good enough to do reach my goals. But it finally gets to a point where you can no longer be angry at others, or even yourself. Now you get to finally let go and release what no longer serves you.
Now we stop putting our expectations on others on where we would like to be met. Now we finally let go of the delusion of other peoples words and actions towards us. We free our minds and hearts of it.
In closing, I learned an important lesson. Holding onto what you no longer need to carry hinders growth. This is true no matter what the situation is. It causes you to take the routes that were never meant for you.
