Why do we ask for permission to pursue the things we desire?
Why do we wait for approval from others to step into the life we know we’re meant to live?
Why do we depend so heavily on their opinions, feedback, and validation to feel worthy?
These questions weighed on me today, prompting me to put my thoughts into words. The truth is, for many of us, this behavior doesn’t come from nowhere—it’s deeply rooted in our upbringing. I know it is for me.
I grew up hearing I wasn’t smart enough, qualified enough, or simply good enough to accomplish the things I dreamed of. Whether it was from well-meaning adults or those who should have nurtured me, their words shaped my self-perception. Over time, these ideas sank deep into my subconscious, creating a belief that no matter what I achieved, it wouldn’t be enough.
This mindset became my invisible cage, quietly dictating how I approached life. I didn’t chase opportunities that excited me because I believed they weren’t meant for someone like me. I second-guessed myself at every turn, even when I knew I was capable. I sought validation from others—especially those who were supposed to love and support me—because I hadn’t yet learned to give it to myself.
Looking back, I can trace specific moments where these doubts were reinforced. I was told I couldn’t get into a school I dreamed of attending—a school that could have changed my life’s trajectory. I was reminded by people in my own bloodline that my accomplishments didn’t matter, that they weren’t worth celebrating. I was seen as a threat rather than as someone full of potential, and instead of encouragement, I was met with dismissal.
But here’s what I’ve come to understand: we are not defined by what others think of us.
When I began to focus on what I wanted—without asking for permission—everything started to change.
Take my journey with college, for example. Straight out of high school, I didn’t get into my dream school. Instead, I ended up somewhere else, and it was a struggle from the beginning. I fought for every grade, wrestled with financial instability, and faced mental battles daily. I questioned my purpose, my decisions, and my worth. But through it all, I never gave up. My faith in God reminded me that struggles don’t mean failure, and I was never truly lacking anything, even when it felt like I was.
Eventually, I realized that I didn’t have to accept the limits others had placed on me. I decided that I wanted to be at my dream school, so I took a chance and applied. And guess what? I got in.
That was the moment I realized the power of deciding.
Why was I still seeking approval from people who didn’t even understand the life I wanted? Why was I still waiting for validation from those who couldn’t see my vision?
When you take back the power of your life, everything falls into place.
This isn’t about ignoring advice or being reckless—it’s about trusting yourself to know what’s best for you. It’s about realizing that the voices of doubt and disapproval don’t hold the ultimate authority over your life. You do.
We must break free from the mentalities we were taught as children—mentalities rooted in fear, doubt, and limitation. These outdated beliefs don’t serve us, nor do they help those around us. We are each called to do something unique in this world, to fulfill a purpose that only we can bring to life.
But we’ll never get there if we keep waiting for someone else’s permission.
So stop asking.
Stop waiting.
Decide what you want and go after it unapologetically.
The moment you do, you’ll begin to see how powerful you truly are.
